Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Another tanorexia article from the UK

I know I make fun of stupid orange tans, but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Spray tans are the way to go, just don't overdo it!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Today's Tanorexic: Keira Knightley

The tan's not so bad, it's the greasy skin, visible ribcage and ridiculous facial expression that got me.

Keira gets a 1 out of 10 on the Hogan Hue scale.

"Love the oily skin look, but you need more orange, brother!"

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Today's Tanorexic: Jenna Jameson

I lost some of my love for Jenna when she gave her boys those ridiculous names. However, after finally getting around to watching my copy of Zombie Strippers, my love has once again been renewed. Not that this tan didn't do it for me in the first place.

Oh, and a note on Hogan - I always loved the guy until he unleashed his revolting family upon the world. Now, my dislike has gone to fullblown loathing after his "I understand O.J." comments. Die in a fire, you moronic, tanorexic roidhead.

At any rate, Jenna gets an 8 out of 10 on the Hogan Hue scale.

"The tan is nice, but the silicone distracts from its beauty, brother!"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Today's Tanorexic: Male Barbie

From DListed:

Click the pic to read more about Scotland's Male Barbie!

This guy gets a 10 out of 10 on the Hogan Hue scale.

"Whoa! For a second I was worried my daughter cut off all her luxurious plastic hair! I envy that tan, brother."

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Today's Tanorexic: Kelly Ripa

I don't really have a problem with Kelly Ripa, especially since she replaced that harpie Kathie Lee on that morning show. I just wish she'd put on a few pounds and stay away from the Mystic Tan.

Kelly Ripa gets a six out of ten on the Hogan Hue scale.

"It's a nice shade of orange, but you're just not skanky enough, brother!"

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Today's Tanorexic: From eBaum's World

I just couldn't get over this one. It comes from the awesome eBaum's World. Click the pic below for more!

Hogan can't comment. His head just exploded from sheer envy.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Kenley Penley?

My wife is a huge fan of Project Runway. The only season I've ever seen was this past one that included that thundering cuntdumpling, Kenley "Tugboat Girl" Collins. I never understood how anyone could tolerate this awful woman, but now it appears her true colors have finally shown themselves. Apparently she attacked her fiance, Zak Penley, with their cat, her laptop and three apples before slamming his head in a door and dousing him in water. One of the posters at the wonderful Project Rungay stated:

"All I could think was: 'You have a cat, a computer and three apples. Make it work!'"

I can't help but wonder if maybe Alexander McQueen threw a cat and then she just copied him.