Today's Tanorexic: Jenna Jameson

I lost some of my love for Jenna when she gave her boys those ridiculous names. However, after finally getting around to watching my copy of Zombie Strippers, my love has once again been renewed. Not that this tan didn't do it for me in the first place.



Oh, and a note on Hogan - I always loved the guy until he unleashed his revolting family upon the world. Now, my dislike has gone to fullblown loathing after his "I understand O.J." comments. Die in a fire, you moronic, tanorexic roidhead.

At any rate, Jenna gets an 8 out of 10 on the Hogan Hue scale.



"The tan is nice, but the silicone distracts from its beauty, brother!"

Today's Tanorexic: Brooke Hogan (again!)

I think I'm going to just stop calling it "Your Daily Tanorexic," since I keep forgetting to update. Maybe getting some hatemail will inspire me.

Here's our patron saint with his classy, intelligent daughter. Why the hell is he "presenting" his daughter's crotch? I think he's saying, "See? There's no bulge down there! She doesn't have a wenis like everyone is saying."



The Hogans get a ten out of ten, of course.



"It's got everything! Orange tan, bleached polyester extensions, and my son daughter, brother!"

Your Daily Tanorexic: Tara "Bunny Lebowski" Reid

I had computer trouble yesterday thanks to my wife downloading nekkid pics of Christopher Meloni AGAIN. So here's the belated tanorexic of the day!



Poor Tara Reid. She's going to look like this stunning beauty below by next week if she doesn't start using sunscreen instead of Crisco on her skin.



Tara ranks an eight out of ten on the Hogan Hue scale.



"Your tan is too brown! Two points off for lack of orange tone, brother!"

Your Daily Tanorexic

Let's start this out right with the patron saint of tanorexia, Hulk Hogan. Any unattractive, unnatural and downright hideous tan will be covered in this feature, but the majority of bad tans are this particular color not found in nature. From here on out, this particular color will be known as "Hulk Hogan Orange" or "Hogan Hue." I haven't quite hit the right note on that one yet.



"We bathe in carrot juice and hemorrhoid cream daily, brother!"